Spencer Doctrine

Some time in 1929, Dorothy Spencer conceived the idea of settling domestic misunderstandings in her home based on giving and receiving "carefully regulated" corporal punishment. Her idea was to establish a system of "cooperative discipline" that would sincerely benefit the party at fault and prevent all serious trouble by furnishing a "definite, fair and effective method of adjustment."

She reported, in 1936, that the plan was a "wonderful success." More than 70 years later, I think it still offers sound principals and ideas that couples can use to enhance their relationship. The Plan can also be very useful in the context of a relationship between a person and a disciplinarian, with whom they are not romantically involved.

Getting Started

The key to the use of spanking in this context is to administer punishment in a timely manner and then move forward with a clean slate. It is very important to discipline as soon after the offense as possible, the most effective discipline is given at the very moment of infraction. The importance of this concept can not be over stressed. Never procrastinate in disciplining for an offence. Obviously, privacy considerations make this difficult at times, but be sure that an offence is addressed as soon as possible. Be creative and you will find this easier.  Consider the following example;

The two of you are on a drive down the highway and you notice that your car is passing everyone. You look over at the speedometer and see that your partner is doing close to 90! Since this is one of their causes you mention to them that it would be appropriate to pull over to the next exit with a convenience store... When they ask "Why?" explain that they are in violation of their "Safe Driving Rule," and the issue must be addressed. By making that statement you have started the discipline process. Once at the C-Store, proceed with your partner to the family bathroom since it generally is larger and not "multi-user." Once there, proceed to administer the deserved discipline. Since this is being given with immediacy the session will not need to be that severe. Because of noise and privacy considerations, I would suggest using a switch or similar quiet instrument and give enough to make sure they see the error in their ways, but be done in ten minutes or less. If you feel that you should be more forceful, explain to your partner that you are not finished and they can expect the rest once you get to a place where you can finish.

It is important to fully understand the concept of immediacy. I have found as a general rule of thumb the amount of discipline needed to resolve an issue doubles with each quarter day that passes between the time an offence is discovered and when it is addressed. Since neither of you should want to be spending all your time spanking, the sooner you address something the more time you will have to enjoy your relationship and each other.

This immediacy also heads off the possibility that one or the other person will be withholding, or let anger sit and gnaw at him or her, which is likely to lead to potentially ugly fights and ongoing tension. As Ms. Spencer says, "The couple that has every difference out when it arises is not likely to build up an antagonism that can be settled only in the divorce courts."

In order for this plan to work, the two people have to agree on a list of causes. As we'll see later, this list goes into something resembling a contractual agreement. You can get specific about relative severities if you'd like, or you can leave that up to the discretion of the person administering the discipline, but the important thing is to negotiate what constitutes a punishable offense. This term can cover a wide variety of things, but I find the following guidelines useful:

• A cause should involve some behavior that you are genuinely interested in moderating or changing. Discuss this with your partner, they will see things that you may miss, and you will defiantly have things that they do not see.
• The list shouldn't have more than a few items. If you object to lots of different things that you do, then take the top three or four things and put them on your list to start with. Once some of them are under control, you can add more issues. The goal is to be very strict with a few things, otherwise it is easy to get overwhelmed.
• Punishment spankings are meant to be fairly serious. As such, you'll want to define your causes in such a way that discipline sessions occur with a frequency that will be effective without being overwhelming. This doesn't mean that you need to establish specific times for discipline, although that can be very effective (especially if you choose Friday night, after the work week ends but before the weekend gets rolling); it means that you need to find a good balance so that the spanked has time to absorb the lessons from one spanking before finding themselves in the midst of another one.

For instance, say that your partner has a problem with being rude in public. You could focus your list of causes on the ways this rudeness manifests itself. Being insulting to a stranger (say, a waiter in a nice restaurant), to a friend, and to you in front of others would all justify punishment spankings, to be administered as soon as the two of you were alone. (Telling your partner what they can expect may help mitigate the situation in the short term, as they contemplate what's going to happen. I do not recommend you share that with others as this system can be hard to accept for those who only see a part of the plan.)

Once the list is in place, you need to live up to the agreement on a consistent basis. In other words, if your partner commits an offense, they are going to be punished, no matter what. They will lose respect for the arrangement--and, over time, for you--if you don't follow through each and every time. The goal is to establish a negative effect for each cause on your list, and that effect simply must result for the plan to be effective. Along those lines, it's important that the spanked not argue; rather, they must accept the fact that they deserve and have earned this discipline, and act accordingly.

Rules and Regulations

These are adapted from Ms. Spencer's list, adjusted for relevance today and based on my 30+ years of personal experience with the Spencer Plan both in my own household and counseling hundreds of other partners and individuals.

• Care must be taken not to cause significant bruising or injure the body in any way. The punishment should continue long enough, to be truly effective and to impart a beneficial lesson. The discipline must continue until you feel your partner is truly contrite / sorry for what they have done and will use their best efforts not to repeat this offence for a great while, if ever.
• A spanking must never be administered in rage, however if you are angry, chances are that you will impart that to the discipline and vent that anger in a way that is most useful. Wait until both parties are calm enough to carry out the punishment properly.
• The spanking over, the incident must close. To hold anything against a punished partner, after a spanking has been given, is in direct violation of this whole method of correction. You must deliver enough discipline as to allow yourself to forgive your partner, and for them to forgive themselves.
• A Requested punishment must be given. It is not enough to take the discipline without fuss or argument when our punishing partner feels we should have it--we must also ask for it, when we know or feel that we deserve it. Your partner took a big emotional risk asking for discipline, an act that is contrary to their basic instincts. It is mandatory that you, as discipliner, follow through or your partner may loose respect for the system or worse you.
• Conversely, there will be times when you violate a cause, but your partner is unaware. It is too easy to say nothing and "get away with it." While telling on one’s self is the most difficult thing you will have to do, it is also the most important. Failure to follow this requires the original cause be disciplined, and additionally at least double for the deception. Many consider this “lying by omission,” a most serious offence. You have set standards for yourself, which means all the time, not just if you get caught.
• The punishment should be inflicted on the bare bottom only. To do the job intelligently, a constant scrutiny of the skin must be maintained. Understand that some welts and marking can be expected, but do not over do it. If you are following the plan with consistency and dealing with issues in a timely manner, it shouldn’t be necessary to give very many severe punishments.
• If you find that discipline is being given frequently (more than 3-4 times a week when addressing a new issue, or 2-3 times a month once you have your routine established) then you need to look closely at your causes, the severity of your disciplines, or how strictly you are following your plan. This phenomenon is most often caused by disciplining too lightly, not allowing your partner to fully forgive themselves, thus they repeat until they do receive enough discipline and find forgiveness. If you see this happening, discuss your observations with your partner and determine the best course of action together. 
• Spencer doctrine calls for the prompt acceptance of the discipline. There must be no argument--no protest--no pleading to be let off--no hard feelings about it. After all, you agreed to this in advance and even signed your name. If you think that a discipline may be unreasonable, discuss it with your discipliner *AFTER* it has been completed. You may find that your view has changed once you have heard their discussion and motivation.

Note that Ms. Spencer also insists that a woman should only be spanked by hand. I disagree with this notion and think it is a little out dated. This view is supported by conversations with hundreds of couples actively engaged in Spencer households. It is also important to note that each person is different in the amount of discipline they need to receive in order to find forgiveness. A hand spanking may be enough for some, where others may require a strong caning to find that benefit. When you start out, you will under go a period of experimentation until you find out how much is enough for any given situation. This is natural, and you can expect to make some mistakes. I find that an important tool that helps many beginners is to have a discussion after the discipline is complete and once both have settled down. Discuss what worked and what didn’t, be absolutely honest with each other, even if it might mean harsher discipline in the future. You will get the most from this Plan when you find the methods that work effectively for your particular personalities, tolerances and dispositions. Most partners find that within a few months of adopting this Plan they have things dialed in fairly well.  

My personal belief, and research shows, that hand spanking becomes much less effective once a person reaches their teens. Experience has shown that belt spanking works nicely for most minor offences, varying the duration and intensity to fit the need. In some cases, especially when disciplining males, or where the offence is more severe, it may be useful to include a cane (English Discipline type, not walking) or switch in the later parts of the session. Many partners find that ending the session with the spanked counting a set number of more intense strokes delivered with the cane or switch to be an effect way to provide closure of the actual discipline. Paddles and other deep instruments should be avoided, or used with extreme care because they can easily do real damage.

Sometimes bruising may be a problem, this is more common in women. Experience shows that belts & straps tend to bruise more easily than switches & canes. Of course, the cane & switch group will leave welts when applied properly so there is a trade off. Please, though, keep in mind that you need to be careful not to cause any real harm.

Technique

A punishment spanking should result in the spanked reaching a point at which they are genuinely sorry for their behavior. This doesn't translate well into a certain amount of smacks, or a certain length, for a given offense, but the following tips might be of use.

• Ritual is important with regard to domestic discipline. Whether you arrange for the spanked to bare their bottom before starting, or you take all of their clothes off while they are standing in front of you, or they start fully dressed and you prepare them yourself, or some other variation, you should follow the same routine each time. Reinforcement is more effective if every detail is in place. It is also important to have a location and position that you generally use for discipline. Commonly, this may be face down on the bed with a pillow under the hips, or bending over a chair or sofa, maybe kneeling on a chair pushed against the kitchen table. Some partners prefer to use a spanking bench made specifically for this purpose. What matters most is that you find what works for your partnership and be consistent.
• There has also been some consideration given to the principal of binding the spanked. This has some significant advantages on both the practical, as well as the psychological levels. To be bound in the discipline position means that the spanked must surrender themselves entirely to their discipline. This forces them to concentrate on their offence and the resulting punishment without thoughts of escape or mitigation. This can be a powerfully effective tool for some partnerships.
• There are two basic rhythms that one can use in a discipline spanking: consistent and escalating. A spanker can also choose to mix things up, spanking different areas of the bottom, or adopt a left-right-left-right pattern. Any combination, performed with proper technique, is likely to work in a given situation.
• It's important to know, though, that if a spanking starts off too hard and/or fast, it can immediately put the spanked in a bad place physically--and emotionally--and the pain will be too distracting for them to be able to focus on why they are being punished and how to avoid it in the future. If this happens, pause! Allow your partner to settle down and then continue with a little less force. Generally a longer, milder spanking will get better results than an extremely harsh quick one. It takes a while for the subconscious to process the discipline and start to allow the spanked to begin the process of forgiving themselves.
• I recommend talking with your partner while you're disciplining them as well; speaking calmly but authoritatively, between sets of smacks, will help them grasp the lesson you're trying to impart just that much more quickly. Another technique that is very effective is to ask questions during the session; “Do you feel that you acted appropriately?” “Could you have made a different choice that wouldn’t have caused you to wind up here?” etc. Depending on your partner, this may prove more effective than simply lecturing. Often a mixture of both works best.
• The subject of tears is problematic, to say the least. I think that many women who are interested in being spanked want to cry from that spanking, and most of this desire is attached to a combination of the physical and the emotional. All I'll say on this matter is that it's likely to involve trial and error: the two of you need to find out what's going to work best for you, and it may not fall into place right away. Maybe the spanked feels the need to shed real tears before they feel well and truly punished, or they need to reach a certain intensity of crying in order to get to that frame of mind, or maybe the idea of crying during a spanking is just not acceptable to them. Be aware that women are much more likely to cry during or from discipline than men. Whatever the case is, you should err on the side of caution--it's better to continue to refine your approach than to punish your partner to the extent that they resent you.
• After you have had the Spencer Plan in place in your relationship for a while, you may find that a “life happens” situation exists and you, as a couple, have slipped away from the guidelines of the plan. You both may have let things slip by without correction; maybe you have not updated your agreements, etc. In any event, you will be able to recognize when this happens from the following; No correction has been given for a while and there is increasing tension in your relationship. This is a serious event and must be watched for and if it happens must be treated quickly or all your efforts and suffering may be wasted. If you think your relationship has fallen into one of these periods, immediately discuss this with your partner. If you both agree that as a couple you have let yourselves down, a unique situation exists where a mutual discipline is required. This must be most severe for both of you because if you are not being faithful to the plan then it will not work for you. A mutual discipline can be given by spanking each other alternately during the same session, or the partner who discovered this event gives a full spanking, and then later that day or the next receives their punishment. Experience has shown that the same session alternating method is more effective because it provides immediacy to both partners.

Regardless of how you proceed with domestic discipline, you simply must remember that afterwards, it's time for a fresh start, and that means "kissing and making up" or otherwise showing your partner that you have forgiven their offence and that all is well again. Use what ever method appropriate for your specific situation. This could be right away, with your partner sitting in your lap while you comfort her; it could be a standing embrace, etc. Again, you should adopt whatever you think will work for you, and stick with it. No matter what, though, once punishment has taken place, you should again treat your partner as your equal, regardless of the nature of the relationship, with all of the attending emotions that implies. Once a discipline has been rendered, that must absolutely be the end of the matter. Put it out of your mind, toss it in the trash and get on with your relationship. This is most important. If you were the spanker and later you feel that the issue was not completed satisfactorily you must not harbor that feeling, simply make a note to do better, if there is a next time. If you were the spanked and you feel that you did not receive sufficient discipline, I strongly recommend you approach your partner and request an additional spanking, they are probably feeling the same, but as outlined above are bound to leave the matter be. It is most important that you honor yourself, your partner and this agreement. To do so requires the dropping of an issue once it has been addressed. This is the concept of forgiveness and is the active ingredient of the entire Spencer Plan. The discipline simply provides a path to achieve forgiveness.

The Spencer Plan Agreement

As I mentioned earlier, Dorothy Spencer recommended that a couple sign a formal mutual agreement under which domestic discipline would take place. Here is the current agreement, based on the original “contract” she proposed. The following agreement is both gender and relationship neutral.  It can be used by a married couple, domestic partners as well as for mentoring a single person. Within this context the word “partner” refers to your discipline partner. One copy of this agreement will be filled out for each person receiving discipline under the Spencer Plan.

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Spencer Plan Agreement

 

"I, ________________, partner of ________________, do hereby acknowledge that I have read the Spencer Plan and approve of the doctrines it advocates. From this date on it is my wish to have my conduct regulated by the enforcement of these doctrines. I give to my partner, therefore, the full right and permission to spank me whenever they feel such discipline would be helpful and be in accordance with the Spencer Plan.

"This Agreement has been entered into willingly--and for no other purpose than to improve my disposition and secure the general benefit that always comes from the enforcement of intelligent discipline. I understand that I will be spanked without fail if I break my promise to refrain from:

[list of causes follows, (limit to no more than five and amend as needed)]

"I promise to cooperate with my partner faithfully. I will get ready for the punishment promptly when asked to do so and I will bear them absolutely no ill will for so disciplining me.

"I promise further to ask for spankings when I feel I need them. I realize that Requested Punishments play a highly important part in the Spencer Plan, and I will report and ask for discipline when I feel I need or deserve it. I further understand and agree that failing to report an offence will result in the most severe consequences.

[signed] ______________________________________ [date] _________________

 

"I, ________________, partner of ________________, in accordance with their wishes, as expressed above, do hereby promise and agree to spank my partner whenever I feel such discipline would prove helpful to them.

“For my partner's own good, I promise to discipline them without fail whenever any of the causes listed above have been violated.”

[signed] ______________________________________ [date] _________________

Spencer Agreement (PDF) / Spencer Agreement (ZIP)